back to square 1

So it turns out that in the meantime, whilst doctors were debating what to do about mum’s tumor, the thing has started to grow again. Aparently this is kind of normal with this type and nothing to worry about. It does mean she will have to go back on chemo though to make it shrink again. After her new doctor went to a conference recently, they have changed her meds cocktail and hopefully this one won’t affect her as badly.

She went into the clinic yesterday to get a port set into her shoulder, as all her veins are ruined after the treatments she recently had.

She’s taken this all really well and is back at home.

Still, having to hear it’s growing again makes me worry, even if she tells me I shouldn’t.

back to square 1

It’s starting to feel a lot like Christmas

I can’t lie. I have been absolutely dreading the holidays this year.

Earlier last month, when we found out about the diagnosis, I really wasn’t sure there’d be much to celebrate at all and I was more than scared about the build up.

But every now and then somebody throws you a bone and in this case it means that Mum is well enough to come home until the 29th.


She’ll be released on the 23rd, the day I get back and has already been busy thinking about what I shall cook for her when I’m at hers. She can walk around with an aide but obviously there’s no way that she’d be able to take care of herself.


I’m so so happy we get to spend the week together like this.


Dad already has a shopping list with things she’d like to eat so that I can pamper her when I’m there.


And now even grumpy old me feels a bit festive.

It’s starting to feel a lot like Christmas

All I want for Christmas

Mum has now started her second round of treatment and is sounding almost normal. By that I mean pre diagnosis. Her voice is almost back.

She told me she’s been eating a lot for her standards, so it all sounds really promissing.


I also booked another flight home as flights are cheap in January.


Best news however had Dad, who said the doctors are fairly optimistic, and that all things going according to plan, she may be home for Christmas. We’ll need to get her a carer for when she’s at home, but that’s the smallest issue. I just really hope she can be with us for Christmas eve.


Fingers Crossed!

All I want for Christmas

Cake day and small mercies

And once again I’m back home to see Mum. This one at least was a scheduled visit and not a panicked last minute trip hoping for the best.

she already sounded much more like her old self when I spoke to her on the phone this week, but before going in I wanted to speak to her doctor to make sure I know what’s going on. Chemo has caused her blood cell levels to drop so she’s getting infusions. Now I have been told this is a GOOD sign, because it means it’s doing something. She also confirmed that she gets the impression it’s working from how much she recovered already, but it’s early days and they’ll know more in the next few days.

Luckily her appetite has come back and asked if she wanted something, I could tell from her face that there was something but she didn’t want to ask about it because she never asks for anything.


“how about cake?” She did pull her cake face. “Hmm not sure I mean yeah something sweet would be nice and maybe some coffee”. So dad sprints over to the cafe and comes back with a massive slice of sponge cake. If the speed of her getting that cake down is any indicator, we’re on a good way 🙂



Cake day and small mercies

And so it begins

Mum has been in hospital for the last few days. She’s getting oxygen trough a tube to help her breathe and they are treating the fungus they found in her stomach. The fungus makes it hard for her to eat, which exasperates her weight loss caused by the cancer.

Her biopsy to determine the type of cancer she has was yesterday. Today she had a PET scan and tomorrow they will check her brain. I hope that we’ll be getting results soon so we can finally do something to this piece of shit tumor.

Against her will, I have also booked tickets to see her next weekend. I want to go but I dread to see her like this, but there’s no option. I have to make the most of what we’ve got.

And so it begins

Step one and Operator says no

Mum’s been admitted to hospital now for her biopsy.

This will establish what kind of Lung Cancer she has. It’s an important step as there are different cancer mutations annd various targeted treatments for each of those. Targeted treatment, or so I have learned, will be used once the main rounds of chemo/radiation have been done and can make a massive difference when it comes to survival.

Where a cancer can’t be cut out, you’re basically playing the waiting game and hope for the best that your current treatment is getting you through long enough until the next generation treatment is available. Some of the ladies in in my link list have managed to beat their grim prognosis and become NED (or no evidence detected) even though they were stage 4 when they were first diagnosed. We don’t know what stage she’s in yet but hopefully the biopsy will tell us more soon, and I’m hoping that we can get to NED stage as well.

A more short term concern for me is the lack of communication. Dad has forgotten to ask the hospital to set up a telephone line for her. So without a mobile phone, internet or a landline (come on dad, it’s 2015!!!) I have no way of calling her and to see how she’s getting on.
In typical German fashion, the brusque lady on the telephone was less than helpful and all I got out o her was OPERATOR SAYS NO – Thanks dickhead, I hope you never have to call a loved one with a serious disease and end up dealing with your equivalent <3.

I’m now coaxing Dad into getting a line set up and unlikely for him he even has his mobile on.

He better not switch it of or I’m going full mother of dragons on him.

Step one and Operator says no